Aim to Choose a Good Option, Not the Right Option

Caregiving often feels like a series of impossible decisions. Should you move your loved one into a care facility, hire professional help, or try to manage things on your own? Should you prioritize their physical health, their emotional needs, or your own well-being? The weight of trying to make the “right” choice can be overwhelming.

But here’s the truth: there often isn’t a single “right” option. And that’s okay.

The Myth of the Perfect Choice

As caregivers, we’re conditioned to believe that if we just try hard enough, research enough, or care enough, we’ll stumble upon the perfect solution for every situation. The reality is that caregiving is messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. What feels right in one moment may feel wrong the next, and even the most thoughtful choices can lead to challenges you didn’t anticipate.

Instead of searching for the perfect answer, focus on choosing a good option—the best decision you can make with the information, resources, and energy you have at the time.

Giving Yourself Permission to Change

One of the most powerful things you can do as a caregiver is to remind yourself that decisions are not set in stone. If something isn’t working, you have the right to change your mind. Moving your loved one into a care home doesn’t mean you can’t bring them back home later. Hiring help doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a caregiver. Trying something and deciding it’s not for you is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of courage.

Grace Over Guilt

Give yourself grace in the decision-making process. Acknowledge that you are doing the best you can in a situation that often feels impossible. No one has all the answers, and no one can predict every outcome. You are not a bad caregiver—or a bad person—for struggling to figure it all out.

When faced with a tough choice, ask yourself:

• Does this option align with my current abilities and resources?

• Is this option sustainable for me and my loved one in the short term?

• Am I okay with revisiting this decision if it doesn’t work out?

These questions can help you focus on making a good choice rather than fixating on finding the “right” one.

Moving Forward

At the end of the day, caregiving is about navigating uncertainty with as much compassion as you can muster—for your loved one and yourself. By aiming to choose a good option instead of the “right” option, you free yourself from the burden of perfection and allow yourself to move forward.

And remember, each decision you make is a reflection of your care and effort. That, in itself, is more than enough.